but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
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