I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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