He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Randomize
