You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
