That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
