butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
