how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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