Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Randomize