He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
