Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
