Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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