her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
