did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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