a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
