I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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