so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
