I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
tonight lets celebrate not being married
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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