Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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