Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
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