Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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