But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
bring money and cleavage
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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