can u get pink eye on your cock?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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