He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
