and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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