There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
