I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
