i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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