i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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