Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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