True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
whose parrot is this?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
