last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
We don't watch enough power rangers
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
