At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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