I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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