just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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