Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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