I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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