You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize
