You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
