I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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