dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
