I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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