She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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