What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize