It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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