her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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