She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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