Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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