Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize