dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
