She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
