she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
