I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize