O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
