if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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