I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
