i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Randomize
