once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Randomize
