if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
