She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
